Lies We Tell Kids

Paul Graham’s essay Lies We Tell Kids examines the pervasive but often unexamined ways adults mislead children.

Main Categories

Protection & Environment: Adults create sheltered worlds for children, which is reasonable for infants but problematic when extended too long. Suburbia—designed to protect 10-year-olds—becomes “suffocatingly fake” for teenagers.

Sex & Drugs: Parents conceal that these activities bring pleasure, fearing clouded judgment. The conflict arises because parents want to instill confidence while simultaneously lying about dangers.

Innocence & Identity: Adults suppress certain language and knowledge to maintain childhood innocence. Parents impose group membership through arbitrary beliefs that become nearly impossible for children to later question.

Authority: Adults hide their flaws while demanding high standards, often claiming ignorance rather than admitting “I don’t know.”

School Propaganda: Textbooks present simplified or propagandistic versions of history, omitting complexity.

The Cost of Deception

We accumulate a “truth debt” that persists into adulthood. Adults rarely explain the lies told, leaving people to unconsciously carry misconceptions throughout life.

My Takeaway

Understanding these lies helps unlearn them. Question what you absorbed as a child.

What lies did you have to unlearn? I’d love to hear at persdre@gmail.com.